Life gets in the way

As a type A person, I want everything to be planned, organized, and executed with finesse. I’m someone who makes an effort to do things the “right” way and to be responsible for what is on my plate. I’m also someone who creates and sticks by his schedule.

But, sometimes, life gets in the way.

My reaction to that? 

Mega UGH. 

I hate when the unplanned usurps the planned. And my Gremlin loves to scream about it.

What the fuck is going on?
You can’t fit this in!
What an interruption!
So annoying!
This is so stupid!!

I manifest this by feeling bothered and annoyed. I have a pit in my stomach and I experience a “dark cloud” over myself. I can’t focus without wandering to that part of life that gets in the way.

And, you know what, it doesn’t feel good. At all.

I want to be freeeeeee from that.

Well, welcome to one of those moments where my dumbass knows the answer but doesn’t always follow through on it. When moments like this come up, it’s just data. What’s happening that’s causing this? It’s that I didn’t plan well enough. My psychic abilities failed me! (Don’t I wish I could see the future!!)

Kidding aside, there are three simple ways to deal with this:

Expect the Unexpected

Life gets in the way. It always does. It always will. So learn to expect that. What does this entail? If you schedule yourself from A-Z, you’ve left no room for B through Y. Literalleigh, there’s no white space. You gotta add some white space in your plans. 

For you self-employed folks, this may mean scheduling yourself for “40” hours, but really only inputting work for 30-35 of it. Leave 5-10 hours each week BLANK. It’s not free time! It’s actual work time, but you just don’t know what’s going to go there.

If you’re an employee, the same principle applies. Add some white space to your work calendar, if it’ll be allowed. It will get filled since life happens, but at least you’re preparing for it in some way.

Go with the flow

Easier said than done. But when you are able to, you’ll find stress and obsession released. When you realize that the flow of the waters is the opposite way of the direction you’re headed, turn and face the direction of the current. This is vitally important. Otherwise, all you’re seeing is where you want to go and can’t (which is frustrating). If, instead, you’re facing the current’s direction, you’ll see all of the different and unique possibilities ahead of you (which is encouraging).

When my stepfather was in hospice, I was not ready for it. It was not the right time, I was not wanting to leave, and I had not allowed for space to live. On one of our many phone calls, my brother had to chastise me to understand: not everything in life can be planned for. And this is one of those things. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in life. There are times your family may just need you. 

Once I arrived, it felt completely appropriate to be there. I had made space, I was present to the situation, and I was able to spend the last few days with my mother’s husband. I was appreciative for what my brother had done for me.

Shut your gremlin up.

Your gremlin wants you to be miserable. And it does a fantastic job at it. It screams and shames you for all that you do wrong. It points out every mistake about you. And it knows all of your dirty secrets. It is the most condemning and powerful energy block known to man.

When you’re interrupted, your gremlin knows how to make you aware of all of the consequences of being interrupted. It is especially loud and detailed with us overachievers! It has a list of things already prepared and will definitely not let you forget it.

And yet, you can still work on processes to show it the door. Your gremlin may be impactful, but it isn’t pervasive. It is only as powerful as you let it be. It can take some work to separate it out from your true self. But when you do, the voice dampens to a dull whisper. It’s worth the work! (And it’s something I can definitely help with if you’d like).

In Summary

Life will happen. Ain’t no doubt about that. The question worth pondering is simply, are you equipped with tools to handle it?

Well duh. Yes. Now you are. Review this one more time if you need to.