How to get over phobias
Fear of spiders.
Fear of public speaking.
Fear of heights.
Fear of needles.
Fear of small spaces.
We all have some kind of fear. It is natural and a significant part of our lives.
Occasionally, though, they are irrational and all-consuming. They get in the way of your progress and are not productive. Back in hunter-gatherer societies, sure, you want to have fear when you hear what might be a bear. But now, when you’re in your home, the adrenaline might still be running when you hear that noise…but there’s no literal bear in your house. You live on the second floor, dummy. No bears up there!
….right?
In therapeutic practices, there is a specific method of overcoming these fears called “exposure therapy”. The idea with this practice is to slowly expose yourself to what you're afraid of so that over time, it won't have as much of an impact on you and you will start to build the armor you need in order to withstand the discomfort or pain.
For some people, it is a step-by-step process. It begins with very minimal exposure and ends with the maximum exposure. So for, say, spiders, it goes on a continuum from thinking about spiders, to visiting a zoo with spiders, to being in a room with a spider in a cage, to being next the cage, to being on the far side of a room with a spider outside of a cage, to being next to the spider, to…letting the spider crawl on your hand.
An alternative method, but not for everyone, is to jump right into the most extreme exposure possible for the sake of “ getting it over with”. I also like to call this Leigh Cambre method. 😉 That's because it is my most preferred way of doing things! I don't like to wait. I don't have the patience to complete a slow process of exposure. Get me that spider and throw it on me now!! Let’s move on with life!!
If you have arachnophobia, I’m sure this sounds terrible. But there is a lot of science behind either method of exposure therapy. The truth is, adrenaline is a temporary sensation. It is impossible for the rush of adrenaline to last perpetually and, eventually, it dies out, leaving you with….yourself. And exposure therapy underlines that truth.
After a while, what you learn with fears is that they are a byproduct of sensations in your body and that the fear you had felt is…..well? It’s boring. A waste of time. And so your unconscious starts to move beyond it. It isn’t triggered the same way anymore. Consider old people who can’t be bothered by certain pleasantries anymore. It’s kind of like that but for this specific part of your brain.
So my advice? Get out there and throw yourself into your fears. Either slowly, or all at once. Either way provides some progress. Be ready for discomfort. But also, be ready for change. Your mind will learn. And you, too, can be rid yourself of your irrational fears.
