Can I ask a favor?
I want to give you a challenge.
I hope you accept it.
Here’s the challenge: I want you to choose a 5-day period in the next two weeks. During this period, you must request/ask for something daily during those 5 days.
Am I making you nervous? 😅If so, even more reason to participate in this challenge.
For some of my clients, asking for help is somehow seen as taboo or unacceptable. So let me start by being transparent here. I do not relate to this conundrum. At. 👏 All. 👏
If I need something, I'm going to ask for it. The way I see it, I'm a grown-ass adult. You're a grown-ass adult. If I want something, I'm going to ask, and if you don't think you can do it, you'll say no.
Now, I know that not everyone feels this way. Some people feel more like this when needing to ask for a favor:
And that's who this blog is for.
My hope is that you will take a new stance on making requests for yourself.
So first of all, what is the reason you hesitate on making a request? What is it that has burned you that has caused you to believe that making requests are unacceptable or inappropriate in some way?
If I were to guess, I bet it's a bunch of bullshit.
I bet it's a story you've been telling yourself that, at some level, in your brain, it ends with you rationalizing why you're not worth the help. You somehow think it's not your time, or it's not your turn, or you're not worthy of the request.
Whatever the reason, this belief is so strong that it's stopping you from making a request. Bummer! That's not helpful!
Now, digging in for the reason may be a very productive journey and I bring it up because maybe there's an easily explainable block in the way, but as is the case with coaching, I'm more interested in seeing the action happen, even if the block is unaddressed. Experience is a good motivator for change. If you can show yourself that you can take action despite fear, often your mind will notice your actions. You will discover your beliefs change simply because your outward experience is misaligned with what your old beliefs were, thereby creating new beliefs that better serve you.
So again, while you may want to do the inner work, I actually want to skip to the outer work. I want you to ask in spite of the fear. I want you to see, with firsthand experience, that asking for what you want is not deadly. You're not going to suffer, you're not going to be punished. You might hear a no, but at least you asked! And that's a big step!
Stipulations for this 5-day challenge
I am requesting that you pick a 5 day period, hopefully very soon, preferably starting today, and make one single ask that you would not have normally made. The level of bravery you want to practice in the scenario is up to you, but preferably, it is something that makes your palms sweat. I'm all about going for the gold!
If you’re struggling for ideas, here are a few to get your mind going:
Ask for support. Reach out to someone to ask them to hold you accountable for something. Or, maybe ask someone to be an accountability partner for you. Both of these are asks!
Ask for a compliment. We can all use a little hyping up sometimes. Any time I think about this, I think about Oprah Winfrey. She would often say that everyone deserves to feel the cheers of a studio audience as they walk into a room. I’ve heard the same from an artist who would walks onto a stage and has a room full of screaming fans. Ask someone to be your studio audience for a moment. Ask them to appreciate you because, hey, it feels good!
Ask for feedback. Is there a project or an email or a piece of writing or music you're working on? Having a second set of eyes can make all the difference between good and great. Ask for someone’s opinion on your project.
Ask for the sale. If you’re someone that makes a living from sales, which many of us do, even if we don't hold the title of salesperson, then be brave and ask for the sale! Who knows? They may surprise you!
Ask again. Just because someone said no in the past doesn't mean it's no forever. People's lives change, their needs change, their status changes, so there is always a good reason to ask a second time. Don't give up just because someone said no previously. Check in a second time.
Ask for your dream. Sometimes, all it takes to achieve something huge is to make the request. You won't know unless you try. And hey, what if the answer ends up being yes? Let’s celebrate together!!
Don’t let anything stand in your way. Now is the time!!
What do you want to be held accountable for?
