The four things that kill your energy

We all have times our energy levels plummet. During these times, we feel demotivated and apathetic. We are not in flow anymore and everything we work on feels very frustrating.

I mean, hey, we're all human beings, right?

Well, sure, but despite that reality, we also have the opportunity to underline the root of what's causing these problems. When you understand the mechanics of what kills your energy, you can then make different decisions so that you can not repeat the same mistakes that put you into this place.

Sound enticing? It does to me.

Let's explore the 4 main things that get in the way of being in the flow.

Gremlin

The first is also the most powerful and personal. It's called the gremlin and it is that voice inside of you that says you're not good enough.

Don't be deceived! This voice is not you. You at your core know your inherent worth, but the gremlin does everything in his power to make sure you believe otherwise. Its job is to make you as miserable as possible and its techniques are solid at accomplishing that. It has a high success rate because, well, it knows you better than anyone else, knows your trigger buttons, and is incredibly deceptive. 

The gremlin disguises itself masterfully as being a true belief that you hold about yourself but, in reality, it's total bullshit. It is simply regurgitating fears that you learned when you were young and held onto because, at the age you learned it, there was value to believing or understanding it. Back then, your gremlin said these things to protect you in some way. Most unexamined lives contain a lot of unwitting gremlin messages that are not productive to feeling good, being successful, and leaving a legacy you’re proud of. It's important you shed these. Remove the power of the gremlin.

Assumptions

The second is also very powerful but not as personal as the gremlin. The idea of assumptions is that when you experience something, you're led to believe that the same situation will happen over and over again. 

Now, on one hand, this is helpful information. As a kid, you may have spilled a bowl of banana rice milk onto the couch because you weren’t careful. (SORRY MAMA!) You will then learn from that point on that the bowls with liquid can spill if you’re not careful. That's healthy! 

But there are other situations in life where this same tool is not helpful. For example, I have a client that was led to believe that she would always fail in social situations. She second-guessed herself and felt like anything she said was probably going to be the wrong answer. As a result, she was slow to engage with people and waited for others to say their opinion before she said hers. As a result of us working together, she not only was able to find the source from where she learned that belief, but she also now engages in conversations more assertively, not letting assumptions of the past predict her future.

The idea with overcoming assumptions is understanding that just because something happened a certain way once (or twice or five times) doesn't mean it's going to happen that way every single time. When an assumption arises, you'll want to question that assumption and understand that what you've experienced in the past doesn't have to repeat itself. It is just as possible for the outcome to be positive (especially since you’re working on it). And it's in that analysis that you can find freedom.

Interpretations

 The next one is interpretations. I come across these quite often with my clients. What's happening here? It's when you have fully understood what someone else is thinking without any confirmation from them. In other words, it’s you using your abilities as a psychic and mind reader. 

I mean hey, what a skill to have! I'm just here to doubt that you actually can read minds. 😒

The pain point that arises is that, when you’re duped by a wrong interpretation, you’ll experience a reaction to a judgment that hasn't been placed on you. So when you find yourself attaching to the idea that so-and-so person has a belief about you, the question to ask yourself is, what are three or four other beliefs that person actually could be holding? Often, you'll discover that you're attaching to the most negative option as opposed to the most realistic option. If there is no data to support what you're believing, you have been suffering from the pain of interpretation. The idea here is to make sure you're looking at all possible interpretations so you can limit your ability to get in your own way.

One of my clients was absolutely certain that her client was mad at her. She wouldn’t return phone calls, she was slow to email, and she wasn’t processing the all-too-important approvals that make her business run well. Through some evaluation, we discovered that it wasn’t something personal toward my client. Instead, it was her not being clear about the approval process policies. My client hadn’t clarified what was really going on and her client was simply confused. Wow! What a difference the truth makes!

Limiting beliefs

Finally, the least personal, but still impactful, are limiting beliefs. These are platitudes about types of people that hinder your progress. 

Maybe, you've believed that women that look like you should act a certain way. 

Maybe you've heard your whole life that men should have a certain amount of masculinity to be worthwhile. 

Maybe you've learned that you must have a certain skin color to have success in life. 

If there is a belief you hold that interrupts the flow for yourself, what you're experiencing here is the negative power of limiting beliefs. They freeze your ability to make progress and paint a false picture of the reality you know to be true. Naturally, they don't tend to be as personal as the gremlin message, but they are just as easily able to block your flow as any of the rest of these blocks.

I had a client that struggled very much with limiting beliefs. As a child of immigrant parents, she witnessed her parents work from daybreak to sunset with a firm belief that hustling is the best path to success. Without any other perspective, my client internalized this belief to be a reality of life and implemented the major hustling herself, unfortunately at the expense of her personal health. After some weeks of trying on new behaviors I developed with her, as well as some accountability and guidance from me, we were able to shake this old belief that wasn't serving her and put her in a place of balance. Today, she reports how grateful she is for our coaching together because it really gave her a new perspective and she feels confident she will never go back to this old way of being again. It was the antithesis of the successes she wanted and now, she is feeling happy, content, and balanced in a way she's never experienced before in her life. She also reported she’s making more money than she's ever made in her life. Truly, this work is more powerful than you could ever imagine it to be.

Summary

Of course, I work very closely with my clients on all of these to make sure that they don't get in the way. If you find yourself struggling with any of these, the first step to addressing these blocks is to have awareness that that's what's going on. You want to be able to name it so that you can make a new choice about it. Pay close attention to where your mind goes and what the patterns are so that you can create new, more functional patterns in your mind.

If you're struggling and want some one-on-one attention, feel free to sign up for a free session so that we can workout a specific strategy on how to move forward. Or, if you've done the free session and are ready for more, let's dive right into a power session so we can make progress straightaway. I am very eager to serve you and help you have your hands on the steering wheel of life.

You’ve got this. And I got you.