On a scale of physical attractiveness from 1 to 10, I fall somewhere inbetween the two. Duh. Have I really cared whereI fall, though? Not really....until recently. What triggered it was my receding hairline. Though my oldest brother and father both have receding hairlines, it still caught me WAY off-guard in 2003. Suddenly, the two upper corners of my forehead started to spread into my scalp. WTF!
I started to question and doubt myself and my physical attractiveness: What does this mean for me? How will this affect my life? To find out, I need to know what my physical status is now! Immediately, I started comparing myself to every male person I saw and their hairlines. Everywhere I walked, I checked out guy's hairlines (and in the past 6 months, I've been getting obsessive about it). To my dissapointment, it seemed 1/2 of guys DO NOT seem to lose their hair. Bastards. I'm going to start carrying an electric razor with me all of time.
This broke down my confidence in my looks and myself, until yesterday, when I had an aha moment. After much introspection (and a conversation with my mother, of course), I realized something: I've been me my whole life and it's never bothered me. As I child, I was not mopey and self-concerned. I was a bottle of sunshine, running around. laughing, eating candy, and playing pretend on my front lawn. I was experiencing pure bliss. I was reared to love myself first, so I can help others. Somewhere along the way, I allowed myself to be affected by the superficial world that surrounds me each day.
While it's so common and so easy to be judgmental about yourself and your looks, it is also so exogeneous. The superficial world that surrounds us is not real! Why? Because nothing physical lasts. Everything changes. And to make decisions based on solely physical appearances (which I am extremely guilty of) is not ideal. It is true that everyone makes decisions based on physical appearances, but as often as possible, I choose to rise above it, especially for my self-image and well-being. And I remembered the child I once was.
What I learned: Confidence is a state of mind. It is remembering (not learning, because you were like this as a child) to not care where you fall on a physical scale. It is remembering to base your life on things that matter: love and compassion. Love yourself for being you, not for looking a certain way. Get back in touch with your inner child.