Bose is Me

I'm a big fan of Bose In-ear Earphones. I'm on my fourth pair. My most recent pair (MIE2i) was made exclusively for Apple products. And OMG has it been through the ringer:

  • I left it in Connie's bag at a picnic. She pulled it out and the hook that holds the earpiece on snapped off, rendering the earpiece useless. Fuck.

  • I tried to prop it in my ear. It didn't work.

  • I superglued it back on. A month later, it came off.

  • I supergluuuuuuuuuuuuued it back on. I glued my fingers together. BUT IT WORKED, BITCHES! I learned to touch my earphones like a fragile egg and to put them on with tweezers and gloves. For 2 years.

  • I lost my iPod (BIG SIGH. Therefore, the volume rocker doesn't work anymore since it's not compatible with my Android phone).

  • I constantly caught the cord on doors, hooks, corners, yanking the cord slowly from its tip.

  • The cord had frayed open exposing the wires inside.

  • The left earphone played normal. The right earphone played softer. So I learned to listen with the left earphone partially out.

So I decided ENOUGH ALREADY and started my search for a replacement. After three months of not finding anything that compares close enough and annoyed that they don't have one specifically for MY phone, I decided, you know what? I know Bose. I'm just going to get another one. In fact, I'm going to the Bose Store at Columbus Circle where I can actually plug the samples into my phone to try out the buttons to make sure they work!!

Upon arriving, I quickly learned that EVERYTHING was for Apple. None of their samples on display were for Android phones. Sigh.

I was torn between the $130 TrueSound and the more durable, but more expensive and uglier, $150 TrueSport. Seeing as my cord broke on the last TWO that I had, I really wanted to make sure durability was a thing. I pulled out my old, broken, fraying, superglued headphones and started to explain to the employee helping me how I basically destroyed my last pair. He interrupted.

The Bose employee: "Oh, were you wanting to trade that one in for the Bose Replacement Program?"

My brain: "Wait, what did he say? Replacement program? OMG, this POS that I super glued and frayed and is louder in my left ear than my..."

Me (immediately with deadpan look): "Yeah."

I went to the register with him. He took the trash (my old headphones) and rang me up for the TrueSound at $65 (!!!!!).

Him: "Do you want a bag?"

Me: "No."

I literally grabbed that box and ran the fuck out of that store.